it’s when the memories pull down on your throat
it’s when gravity pulls you a little harder and makes it hard to make simple movements
it’s when you obsess over minor changes
it’s when you become selfish and wish him misery
it’s when the thought of him with someone else breaks every bone in your body and stabs your heart with the shattered remains
it’s when you are not the same anymore
it’s when everything good is paired with the weight of the past
it’s when you miss every, single, thing
it’s when you cannot go a day without thinking of him
it’s when you can’t move on…
i can’t move on.
When you can see it ending, why even bother trying?
I. dont. know.
All I know right now is that the feeling’s mutual but time is limited.
Funny how fate works in the most inconvenient ways. Something finally decides to work out and of course it has to happen at the very last moment when I simply just do not have time.
How do you even begin to commit to something that has a definite and inescapable ending?
I guess since I’m already wayyyy too emotionally invested, I’ve set myself up for heartbreak and disappointment once again. The most pathetic thing about this situation is that I can’t even find the courage to stop nor do I want to end this “relationship.” Somehow, I want to make this work and it’s just so hard to let go because he really makes me happy. He makes me happy.
He makes me HAPPY… .
…He makes me happy but he also makes me feel hopeless.
Like I said, fate can be a pain in the ass.